About two years ago, or perhaps even more, I found myself immersed in deep reflection on the profound and often complicated concept of “Unforgiveness.” During that period, I penned a heartfelt devotion that included a poignant story about my father and grandmother. They had shared a home for many years, yet lived as strangers, their lives entwined in the same space but their hearts burdened by years of unresolved grievances. The silence that enveloped them spoke volumes—an aching reminder of how deeply-rooted conflicts can fester and grow, creating chasms that seem impossible to bridge.
As time unfolded, I felt a stirring in my spirit from the Lord, compelling me to explore the intricate layers surrounding unforgiveness more deeply. I began to realize that this heavy burden was not merely about withholding forgiveness; it was about delving into the emotional and spiritual complexities beneath the surface, confronting feelings long buried.
To illustrate this internal journey, I often compare the process of unforgiveness to decluttering a chaotic home. Imagine a living room overflowing with outdated furniture, overflowing boxes of forgotten treasures, and dusty trinkets that have long lost their charm. Instead of genuinely tackling the clutter, we might opt for the easier route—wiping down surfaces or merely shoving everything aside, creating a deceptive illusion of order. This superficial approach, however, fails to address the heart of the issue; it merely conceals it temporarily, allowing the mess to fester beneath the surface.
To genuinely declutter, we must confront the disarray head-on—sorting through the items, deciding what deserves to be kept, what should be discarded, and ultimately clearing the space to allow for refreshment and renewal. In the same way, addressing unforgiveness necessitates a courageous confrontation of our feelings, granting permission for healing to occur at its very core. I have often found myself asking the Lord to remove the burden of my problems without seeking to understand their foundational causes.
For the past two or three months, I have been participating in an enlightening Zoom Bible study titled “Wounded Souls,” alongside my beloved brother, sister-in-law, closest friend, and trusted spiritual mentors. This time together has led me to meditate deeply on the concept of an orphan soul.
During one of our Bible Study sessions on Wounded Souls, my sister-in-law Sharon shared with us that the key to healing lies in allowing God’s truth to reach the source of our pain. An “Orphan Soul,” as Sharon called it, often feels unworthiness and unlovability, weighed down by deep fears of rejection and abandonment, yet through this journey we can discover the transformative power of love and acceptance.
Today, a call from my sister regarding our mother—a brave soul battling Alzheimer’s disease—sparked a significant moment. As we conversed, the Lord moved within me, guiding me to seek her forgiveness—specifically for my failure to fully grasp her role as a caregiver and for not being there for her, either spiritually or emotionally, when she needed me most.
In that moment, the Lord lovingly unearthed the roots of our unspoken past issues and the present strain that had lingered between us. When we invite the Lord to delve deep within our hearts, He faithfully reveals the true origins of our pain, laying bare the wounds we often hide.
We cried together, tears flowing freely as we released the hurt we had both been nursing for far too long. It was as if we had collectively breathed out the shadows that had clouded our hearts, allowing the Lord to initiate a healing process for our brokenness.
My sister-in-law, Sharon, wisely shared in one of our sessions on the Orphan Soul, “Healing is about allowing God’s truth to reach the place where the pain was first introduced.” Indeed, that is exactly what God did today.
This marked the beginning of a profound healing journey for my sister and me—a journey that not only deepened our understanding of one another but also opened the door to genuine reconciliation, allowing our hearts to begin mending the fractures of the past.
What does this really mean for us? To illustrate, let me revisit my experience with my sister. For a long time, we lived in coexistence, convinced there were no significant issues between us. Yet, upon reflection, I realize we often cast blame on each other rather than examining the emotions lying deep within our hearts. We chose to overlook the possibility that unresolved feelings might exist, fostering a narrative in which each of us saw the other as the source of our problems.
Our reactions and interactions with one another are often influenced by the wounds we carry. Instead of dealing with these deep emotions and vulnerabilities, we let our broken hearts dictate our behavior, which ultimately leads to misunderstandings and distance in our relationships. This reflection has made me realize how crucial it is to explore the emotions we often overlook—emotions that can uncover the root causes of our conflicts and pave the way for healing and reconciliation.
Psalm 34:18 tells us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” NIV
The Lord is close to those who are hurting, offering comfort in times of distress. It is His desire to heal our wounds and mend our broken hearts, restoring peace and wholeness to those suffering.
What does it truly mean to heal? An analogy can help us understand the journey from brokenness to restoration. Healing from brokenness is much like tending to a garden. Just as a gardener must first identify the weeds and enrich the soil before planting new seeds, we too must acknowledge our wounds and invite healing into our lives. If we turn a blind eye to the weeds—our denial and pain—we cannot cultivate the beauty of new growth and renewal. Only by opening our hearts and allowing the Lord to guide us can we nurture the seeds of healing and watch them thrive.
Isaiah 41:10 offers us reassurance: “Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” NKJV
This verse brings immense comfort, reminding us that God is always by our side, regardless of how low we may feel or the challenges we face. The same God who reigns on the mountain walks with us through the valleys. We are never alone on our healing journey; He sees us, loves us, and lovingly calls us “beloved” (see 1 John 3:1, Colossians 3:12).
Beloved, if you find yourself grappling with old wounds that haunt your thoughts and keep you awake at night, know that you are not alone. Perhaps you can relate to the feelings my sister and I have often faced—those of being an orphaned soul adrift in a sea of rejection, loneliness, and abandonment. It can feel as though you are unloved and unseen in this vast world.
But take heart, dear one, for our Lord and Savior, Jesus, loves you deeply and personally. He calls you by name, recognizing every tear you’ve shed and every ache in your heart. He stands ready to carry your burdens and offers you a warm invitation to find rest in Him. Trust me when I say, you won’t regret it. You are safe in His embrace, surrounded by unconditional love.
Beloved, you are just a step away from experiencing true inner healing—a transformative journey that awaits you. Remember the words from Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (NIV). Let that promise resonate in your heart as you seek solace and renewal in His presence.
Prayer:
Heavenly Father, I come before You with a heart full of gratitude for Your boundless love, mercy, and grace. Thank You for gently guiding my heart on a path toward inner healing, helping me confront not just the surface of my unforgiveness but also the deep-rooted causes that have long affected my soul. Lord, only You, in Your infinite compassion, could have tenderly led me to face the roots of unforgiveness and rejection that have haunted me for so many years without casting even a hint of condemnation.
The moment true healing took place was when I finally surrendered my shattered heart to You, rather than continuing the blame game I often played, a distraction from the pain I carried. I recognize that this healing is merely the beginning of a transformative journey You have in store for me. It is Your desire to see all Your children restored to wholeness, to truly love one another in the same way that You love us. Your love, Lord, is selfless, merciful, unconditional, and eternal. I embrace this truth with hope and faith, knowing that You are with me every step of the way. In the precious name of Jesus, I pray, amen.
Reference:
- Gonzalez, S. (2026). (Davenport, FL). [Personal Collection].
- Scripture quotations taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.
- Scripture quotations taken from The Holy Bible, New King James Version, NKJV. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson.
